May 25, 2010

EDMONTON OUTLAW HAS MOVED!

Hi all:

Please find me at my new site:   www.stephanielaskoski.com

Thanks,
Steph

May 23, 2010

Karma Is Gonna Getcha!

So, just the other day, I was joyfully announcing how I planned to completely skip a visit to the dentist before we depart on our world adventure because I have nearly perfect teeth.

What an idiot.

Needless to say, just last night I bit into a bite of delicious roasted lamb with pine-nut stuffing, and OUCH.  My goddamned tooth hurts.

*sob*

And I thought life was supposed to be fair.

May 19, 2010

Yann We Can!

I attended the Alberta Writer's Guild Gala last Friday night, and was so thrilled and inspired to be surrounded by such talented people.  Despite the fact that I have only really dabbled in writing either through creative writing courses or various writing groups, I will likely never identify as a writer.   An easy identity to assume of course, is that of a reader, which I am.

I was at the gala to support Lee Kvern's short-story nomination.  She and I met in Cochrane at the Writer's Group held at the public library.  It was run by Marina Endicott, whose name you should either recognize or become familiar with, pronto!  Lee is a great writer, and has gone on to publish several works.  Marina is also excellent, and has been published and showered with awards.  I am a mediocre writer, and now keep a blog.

The attendance at the gala was very impressive, and I admit, I was also pleasantly surprised at the number of members of various levels of government present.  Mayor Mandel, Don Iveson, Ben Henderson and David Swann showed up.  More astonishing was the appearance by the Deputy Minister of Culture who spoke and stayed for the whole thing!  This is a rare occurrence.  Political folks always seem to have more than one event to attend and are usually dashing in and sprinting out.  So, this should alert you to the uniqueness of the event.

I was also delighted to get my "Waiting For Columbus" book signed by Thomas Trofimuk.  I LOVED this book.  I have been working really hard to read local authors these past few months, and I have to say that Edmonton has an amazing collection of storytellers.  I attended the Artery Literary Saloon when Thomas read from this book, and it was difficult for me to determine whether I would like it or not, so I didn't immediately buy it.  But then, when I read that Trofimuk had been nominated for the Edmonton Book Award, I reconsidered.  It was a brilliant decision, if I say so myself.

I was truly unprepared for how thoughtful and profound the book turned out to be.  I also had a preconceived notion that because it was loosely based on Christopher Columbus, it would somehow fall into the "Historical Fiction" category, which I am not particularly fond of.  But I was wrong.  It was relevant and sensitive and tragic.  It's a gem so I insist that it be read!

Thus, it is in the spirit of great literature that I added another dimension to our family trip around the world.  Jeff and I recently attended Yann Martel's reading at the Pioneer Cabin, and it was splendid.  Martel's new book "Beatrice and Virgil" is extraordinary.  I know, I'm a gusher, but I've never purported to be any kind of book reviewer, so gush on I shall.

Though we were in attendance to hear mainly about Martel's new book, there was mention of his other book entitled, "What is Stephen Harper Reading?" which is a collection of books and blurbs Yann Martel has sent to our Prime Minister in the hopes of inspiring "stillness" and expanding the man's literary horizon.  It comes as no surprise that Monsieur Harper has not responded, let alone acknowledged these gifts.  It's appalling.  And to add insult to injury, Barack Obama wrote Yann Martel a handwritten note to say he and his daughter loved "Life of Pi."  Way to go Harper.  As usual.

My disdain is irrelevant.  What is relevant?  That Jeff and I have taken on the challenge to read every book Yann Martel recommends to the Prime Minister.  I have ordered them all.  The credit card is weeping.  We will have them sent to us in bundles, along with the girls' home-schooling materials.  Can you imagine how fun this will be?  I am seriously jazzed!

Please check out the reading list here.  And do keep in mind that we are using Martel's book as a reference point, which has only 55 books.  His website includes 81 at this point, but we are just not that ambitious/insane.  Check out the list!  How many have you read?

May 16, 2010

Sublime Sunday

What constitutes a perfect Sunday?

Today, mine consisted of planting watermelon seeds in the raised bed with my kids and absorbing their eternal optimism that the watermelons will actually grow.  Coaching a soccer game in the sunshine and observing the kids soaking up the heat, despite being annihilated 11-0.  Napping on cool white sheets while Jeff  quietly watches golf.   Smoking a cigar on the front deck and listening to the birds chirp .  Playing The Beatles' White Album while eating well-done BBQ'd hamburgers.  Daughters that love the song "Blackbird" and sing along while eating aforementioned hamburgers.  A cold glass of Prosecco with dinner.  And finally, a standing date to watch LOST with the neighbours on Sunday nights.

*BLISS*

May 12, 2010

Identity Much?

It occurred to me today, just how much "what we do" for a living defines us.  It's not like I am completely ignorant to this, but I certainly haven't spent too much time pontificating the matter.  Until today.  Last night Jeff and I attended the "Good Neighbour Awards" held by the City of Edmonton because the neighbour we nominated actually won.  It was an interesting affair held at the Santa Maria Goretti Centre.  Of course, it required meeting several new people, which I generally love, except when the conversation begins like this:  "So Stephanie, what do you do?"

Gulp.  Good question.

I usually try to invent snappy responses in my mind beforehand that I fantasize about trying on strangers that will stun them into silence:

"I'm a forensic accountant."

"I'm a mortician's assistant."

"I'm an escort.  He's my client" (motion to husband).

"I'm a demi-god; my father is Zeus."

And so on.  And I do this because it is nearly impossible to define what it is I do, in one snappy sentence.  You may ask yourself, why care so much?  Don't worry, I've pondered that, too.  It turns out that knowledge of what someone does is a touching point for everyone in order to feel like they are learning something significant about the other person, which in actuality, is a lot of bolshevik.

Yet it bothers me.  It has become a bit of a burden, actually.  I agonize over whether I am truly contributing simply because I have no dineros to substantiate my activities.  When this happens, I am reduced to keeping a running tally of my accomplishments during the day, which is quite pathetic, especially when one of these accomplishments is simply walking the dog.

But I also recognize my responsibility in this tortured, internal monologue.  Please self, make it stop!

On a similar thread, my friend Lea wrote a very interesting analysis of "Mother's Day."  You can find it here.   Dear, Sweet Women:  sometimes we are our own worst misogynists!


 

May 11, 2010

Leaving Makes Me Love You More

The idea to write an ode to my daily routine awoke me in the night.  Now that we are planning to temporarily depart from this fair city come fall, I have become ridiculously sentimental about it.  For instance, when Ruthie, my faithful lab companion, woke me up about 5:30am to take her out to the park, I bounded out of bed with excited anticipation.


A little background might explain my enthusiasm:  this year, my New Year's Resolution was to take the dog out each morning and meet up with some other Riverdalians.  Jeff had already established the relationship, but had fallen out of the habit once the temperatures plummeted to the minus twenties.  But others carried on, despite the group dwindling to two people from five or six.  Jeff always valued the time he spent with these folks, so I thought I would give it a go.    


So, now I meet with the dwindled-two in my neighbourhood every morning at 6:30 to let our dogs rip around, eat sticks, and sometimes, each other's poop. I have started to refer to them as my "morning family."  We've been through so much together in this short time!  We talk about everything in between cooing at each  other's dogs and concentrating on not getting knocked over by running dog-torpedoes.   And my middle-of-the-night epiphany has alerted me to how much I will miss them once we've gone.  I hope they won't forget me; or worse, replace me!


One last ode to my routine is the elation I am going to feel once I don't have to make bagged lunches for my kids anymore.  I am actually considering starting an official count-down clock to the day I can stop.  I know it sounds terribly whiney, but constructing a creative yet healthy meal-in-a-bag every day for my kids is wearing thin.  I am at the point now where I just huck stuff in their bags like canned corn, a fork and a can opener.  So, it's probably a good idea to have a sabbatical from that madness.


   



May 4, 2010

THE FUTURE - Part V

Deadlines can be a wonderful thing. After much discussion about "the future", we decided to give ourselves a date that would firmly result in a decision about our departure.


The firm date was April 30th, and I am shocked to report that we have officially decided to depart this coming September.  What started as a rather abstract dream will soon be realized.


To make things really official, I booked our appointments at the Capital Health Travel Clinic.  Nothing like a few vaccinations to seal the deal.  Thus far, it looks like we will be getting shots for Malaria, Yellow Fever, cholera, Hepatitis A & B, Tetanus and so on.  In some ways, I am more terrified of the needles than the actual exposure to the various diseases.


With vaccinations and departure dates comes itineraries.  I am proud to say it hasn't really changed since the beginning, except to add wonderful new countries along the way.  Here it is, in order:


England
France
Spain
Portugal
Morocco
Tunisia
Sicily
Greece
Turkey
Israel
Jordan
Egypt
Kenya
Tanzania
Zanzibar
Seychelles
Goa
Thailand
Vietnam
Cambodia
Australia
New Zealand
Fiji
Hawaii
Argentina
Peru
Ecuador
Costa Rica
Belize


One thing we really want to emphasize is that we would love for friends/family to join us on parts of this tour.  So, if there is a country you've been yearning to see, why not meet us there?


My latest fret is about footwear.  Which pair of shoes should I bring?  I refuse to wear runners, and I further refuse to wear "walking shoes."  At the moment, I am convinced that my Frye boots that are old and worn would be the perfect choice, even in the hottest weather.  They would be particularly suited for hiking where snakes and other ankle biting creatures lurk.  But then I think that only one pair of flip-flops ought to do until I remember that we will be in London in the fall, and that is generally not a flip-flop climate.  Oy vey; Decisions, decisions.


I recently finished a book called "360 Degrees Latitude," about a family that traveled around the world for a year.  In preparation, they brought out one box each and placed it in the living room to fill leading up to their departure.  This method seemed to work well because once it was full, that was it, you couldn't bring anything else.  It gave everyone in the family the opportunity to put things in, consider the choice, and keep it, or replace it with something else.  I think I will do the same thing for only me because I am going to be the one choosing unnecessary items in our clan.


For instance, we were walking through a book store the other day and I decided we will all need LED book lights, just in case we want to read in the middle of the night in the Seregeti.  Jeff grabbed them out of my hands and exclaimed, "This is exactly the kind of crap we are NOT taking on our trip!"  I was really shocked because I thought my choice was completely practical and contained quite a bit of foresight, but every person I ask tells me that Jeff is right.  


So, I have trudged to the basement and retrieved a box.  The first item I  plan to put in is tampons because another major fret is that I will be unable to acquire my particular brand in, say, Cairo.  But I have a feeling they, too, will not make the cut.      


       



May 2, 2010

Top 100: Ten at a Time #90-#81

90.  "Bram Stoker's Dracula"  Original Motion Picture Soundtrack


I still remember rushing to buy tickets to this movie on opening night.  It was 1992, and I was working at the "Gourmet Cup" in Edmonton Centre, and used my lunch break to wait in the line up.  The movie was excellent, even with both Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves playing important roles (I wish there was a function to write "important roles" with a fake British accent, in an attempt to emulate both Ryder & Reeves, but alas).  Gary Oldman and Sadie Frost stole the show and the soundtrack played a huge part in that.  It is both scary and erotic, and I recommend listening to it before bed.


89.  "The Philosopher Kings"  The Philosopher Kings


Another album that I loved whilst working in a coffee bar!  A co-worker named Rita was slightly obsessed with this band, in a stalking sense.  Rita played it at the cafe constantly, and I developed a real appreciation for this talented group.  These guys wrote their own songs, and were excellent musicians.  I recommend the song "lay my body down."


88. "Drag"  K.D. Lang


I know that everyone agrees K.D. Lang is magnificent, and most of us have been (over) exposed to her voice through the cover of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah."  Sure, it's an incredible song, sung by a gal with pipes that never fail to amaze, and her album, "The 49th Parallel" is good, too.  But "Drag" is better.  It is also an album of cover tunes, but they are all about smoking.  And as a fan of the mighty cigarette, I have such a deep affection for this collection.  In particular, "Don't Smoke in Bed" and "My Old Addiction" are worth listening to while sitting in the dark at the kitchen table, with a tumbler of rye and an ashtray filled with butts.


87.  "God"  Johnny Cash


Maybe it's age, but contemplative songs about God really appeal to me.  This collection has such songs, but it also has some excellent gospel standards.  Johnny can sing about God and not make it sound awkward.  He is gifted with the ability to sing songs that project such earnestness, you just can't believe it.  My recommendation on this one is "Were You There (When They Crucified My Lord)."


86.  "Simple Things"  Zero7


Moody, electric and zen-like, "Simple Things" is an album that has three or four outstanding tunes, and the rest makes for good sorbet between songs.  As it happens, I love the tunes sung by Sia Furler.  It's a record you can put on just about anytime, anywhere.  


85.  "The Singles"  The Pretenders


Oh, Chrissy!  I love your rebel look with the black eyeliner that's difficult to see because of your long black bangs.  Oh right, and your voice!  It's pretty impossible to choose a favourite song on this one, but certainly "2000 Miles" and "I Go To Sleep" are two of the best.  


84.  "Sleepy Little Sailor"  Oh Susanna


Well, this is pretty much as exquisite as it gets.  Susie writes some remarkable songs and her voice is one of the most incredible ones out there.  I love the cover of Otis Redding's "I've Got Dreams to Remember" and "Sacrifice" is so painful and stunning, I can barely listen to it unless I'm sitting down.  


83.  "Master and Everyone"  Bonnie 'Prince' Billy


I first heard this record at my friend Vince's house in McCauley.  I'd completely dropped in on him and he was in the midst of remodeling, so was covered in paint and dust from sandpapering the walls.  But he was so gracious and sat me down, got me a coffee, and put this album on for me to listen to while he cleaned up.  And wow, I was instantly enchanted.  Will Oldham sings in the most understated way yet not so understated that you ignore it.  In fact, the bareness of his voice emphasizes the vocals and gives the listener a real opportunity to hear what he's saying.  I really like "ain't you wealthy, ain't you wise?"


82.  "Laughing Stock"  Talk Talk


Honestly, Talk Talk is one of my favourite bands of all time.  I think Mark Hollis has one of the best emoting voices of all time.  It's nearly impossible to describe this album.  It's very experimental and unique, and isn't at all like any of their other records.  The best track is "Ascension Day."


81.  "Tidal"  Fiona Apple


I remember, plain as day, buying this CD from HMV when it was in the basement of Eaton Centre.  I bought it on a whim, and never regretted it.  I think Fiona Apple is a bit of a nutter, but to me, that just increases her appeal.  Her voice is sooty and her lyrics are clever.  A perfect recipe for excellent music.  I like "The Child is Gone" and "Sullen Girl."   


    THE END (for now)